The Republicans Pray for Rain — and Rick Perry

Lord knows they'd like to water the tree of liberty here in Texas — right now, before it's too dang late — as the Obammunists pillage and seize everything that's not tied down, and hollow out the Constitution and enslave us and subvert our food pyramid. Trouble is, it hasn't rained in, like, a year down here. All the trees are parched, and a bunch of them are on fire. And so as a 21st century man, the governor, Rick Perry, did the only reasonable thing recently and had a resolution passed through the legislature asking for all of his fellow Texans — Mooslims and everybody — to pray for rain:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, RICK PERRY, Governor of Texas, under the authority vested in me by the Constitution and Statutes of the State of Texas, do hereby proclaim the three-day period from Friday, April 22, 2011, to Sunday, April 24, 2011, as Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas. I urge Texans of all faiths and traditions to offer prayers on that day for the healing of our land, the rebuilding of our communities and the restoration of our normal way of life.

After heated debate on the House floor, the resolution passed. A late amendment, which also would have had Texans "baying at the moon," in an effort to "show God we're serious," was narrowly defeated.

Now, as the Republican field of likely and announced candidates fails to excite anybody, and as former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich lurches to his knees like a tranquilized elephant, and his staff quits en masse and heads to New York City where this week Governor Perry was the featured speaker at a gathering of the city's roomful of Republicans, speculation is high that Perry is the candidate who will force a complete recalibration of the Republican field and Republican chances next fall — that he is the change we've been waiting for, just the man to retake the White House for Texas. (This despite the fact that he is barely more popular than the president in his own state.)

Especially now that Perry has increasingly become the subject of Republican powerbroker fantasies, take a good look at his rain resolution. You might think that such a bit of legislative frippery is but a curio, a moment of lightness in a schedule full of grave executive consequence, but friend, you would be mistaken. For in my beloved homeland of Texas, the governor can veto bills, appoint members of state agencies and commissions, suggest resolutions asking the Almighty to do stuff, and that is all. I make this point chiefly because the nation still — after much recent experience with Texan heads of state — hasn't quite grokked to the fact that, while it may prepare you for some things in life, the Texas governorship might not be the best out-of-town warm-up for the American presidency.

After the jump, a thorough reality check...

Source: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/rick-perry-2012-presidential-bid-5937058?src=rss

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